PDA- Save it for the bedroom

Talk about disturbing.  And talk about getting a room. I don’t mind holding hands or an occasional affectionate hug or kiss on the cheek but some people just take it to another level of nasty. I don’t even get why some couples sit on the same side of the booth like they just can’t get enough of each other. I’m all for love, but like I said, sometimes it’s just too much. I always just think about how the have conversations when they are side by side. They basically have to break their neck to look at each other, but then I remember they are probably just making out anyway.

                  It is the absolute worse when you try to go up to a table and they are in the middle of a kissing session. Oh, sorry to interrupt your PDA, I just wanted to bring you your food out to you before it got cold, but I did not want to see you slobbering all over each other. Another weird situation is when people put there legs up on each other and start feeling each other. Just go home please. You will not die if you casually sit across from each other and just enjoy a nice dinner date.

                  The last thing I can think of for this PDA stuff is, how are you making out after eating that hot wing? Or that garlic bread? It just dos not even sound romantic, or cute, or anything at all but gross.  EW. 

Babies crying and running wild

                  I understand that kids are hard to control sometimes, and that newborns will usually cry in 1-hour intervals, but there are times certain situations are more appropriate than others.  Or if you down right can’t control them, leave them at home or torturing the babysitter.

                  There is nothing more dangerous than a child running around a restaurant. Hot plates, glasses, and heavy trays would be very painful on a little head. I don’t get why some parents do not realize this. They let their kids pull on curtains, jump in booths, and do laps around tables.  Also if your baby just won’t stop crying, go for a walk. Go to your car and rock the baby to sleep.

                  One time this little girl had a tantrum because her mom would not switch seat with her. It got so bad, that the father had to leave with the screaming child and had to have hos food packed up and taken by the mother. WHAT? This was outrageous to me. I do not have kids, but I do know they will not be running my life in the way I see these kids on the ground for candy from the candy machine. 

How dare you not leave me cake?

                  There are certain unspoken rules you have to follow as a guest at a restaurant. Like, if you have a party of 6, do not sit by yourself taking up a table for 45 minutes because you were the only one on time. Also, do not camp out at your table after you’re done eating. We cannot make money if you decide to sit and hang out for an extra hour after you finish your meal. Go sit at the bar and have a drink, or go to a friend’s house to chat it up.

                  One last big rule that no one ever really talks or thinks about is leaving cake. When I serve big parties, I expect to be treated like I am a part of it. There is nothing worse than seeing a table indulge in a giant chocolate cake and then packing up the leftovers to take home. I gave you great service and I can’t even get a piece of cake?

                  I thought this was something I only paid attention to until one day, there was a cake in my kitchen and I asked my sister where it came from. She told me she had a table that was celebrating a birthday and they had half a cake left. They then told her she could have the rest of it because they were all servers at one point and know how it is when they did not get included in the party. This just confirmed all my beliefs that it’s just rude not to share. 

Bad tippers, bad turn-offs

            Serving has even made a new category of turn offs when it comes to men for me. The way a guy acts when out at a restaurant says a lot about his personality. What it all really comes down to though is how they tip. If a does not know how to tip his server, it’s a done deal. It may seem arbitrary but it is actually kind of s big deal when it comes to a server’s point of view.

            What kind of family do you come from if you don’t know how to tip? Where were you educated? It’s especially disappointing when a man in his suit and tie comes in and pays for everyone (with his corporate card of course) and does not leave you 20%. Do you really work in a nice big office or are you pretending? This is again assuming that service wad excellent, which even when it is not, there are good reasons.

            I always try to peak over to see what a guy leaves as a tip. Whether they are just a friend, someone I am dating, or a boyfriend. If you don’t tip well, you might just never hear from me again. I mean it. 

Accent barriers. I don't know what you're saying.

            Being from Connecticut and living in the south has sometimes created a weird language barrier when trying to communicate with my guests. Sometimes I have to ask people that are clearly from the south to repeat themselves multiple times. I think I even understand foreigners from other countries better. I feel bad because I do not want them to get offended, but I can’t help it.

            The one time I was really shocked at how southern a southern accent could get was at the restaurant I worked at before the bar. I did my usual “Hey GUYS, (not y’all) hoe are you doing today? My name is Elizabeth and I’ll be taking care of you today. What can I get you started with to drink?” The man answered me by telling me that since it was hot outside, he was very thirsty. He asked me for a “big glass of ass water”. I was so confused, but instead of asking the man what he meant, I nodded my head and proceeded to the kitchen. I repeated in my head over and over “big glass of ass water” when the light bulb came on. BIG GLASS OF ICED WATER. It was like a revelation. All I could do is laugh at myself.

            I cannot be the only one this happens to though. I’m sure somewhere in New York when a little southern belle goes to explore the city, she encounters the same problem. Or when one of us Americans goes to a foreign country and tries to speak the native language. Maybe we should all just speak a little slower and clearer. 

Is you straw not manly enough?

Why do 80% of men take out their straws from their drinks? Does it seem too girly to drink out of a straw? Who thought of this and is it even a know stereotype which all men abide by, or is just a coincidence? I asked my sister who is also a server if she’s see this phenomena but she had not noticed it until I pointed it out. I think one of the only reason I have noticed, is because even if there is an extra dust particle on a table, I get yelled at. So, when I have to pick up every man’s straw from the table because it’s now trash, it stands out.

            It’s also such a waste. Like when someone asks for water with lemon, and just leaves the lemon as a glass decoration. Really, what was the point of that? There is one guy who comes in to the bar I work at like 4 days a week. He has a weird set-up you have to bring him and if you don’t know it, you must be known. If he does not get the amount of lemons or ice he wants, he’ll ask for more. And what is the lemon and ice for? To sit as a centerpiece on the table. There are rare occasions when he does use them though, but very rare.

            When you don’t like tomatoes in your wrap, you tell your server you do not want tomatoes. So Gentlemen, next time you go to a restaurant, if this applies to you, you tell your server, “hold the straw please”. It’s the little things that make the biggest differences.